What I’m thinking right now

I mentioned to Dave that I’d like to visit an italian cafe near his flat. It’s a beautiful old thing and I said I couldn’t imagine any better way to spend an afternoon than whiling away a few hours there, over the paper, chips and coke.

Dave’s response? “But in a cafe I can’t have my comfy chair. I’d rather stay home, drink red wine, and listen to Beethoven.”

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Dave likes to imagine that he’s both a talented chef and a real foodie. He also thinks he’s deeply multicultural, and likes to bang on about the diversity of Hackney, where he lives. Yesterday for example, over a thai meal, he talked about the meal he’d had the previous night (we’d finished a project, and he’d gone out “with my mates to get bladdered”. Another colleague had just mentioned the range of worldwide foodstuffs available in Kilburn.

“I went out last night and had ‘Jerk’ chicken,” Dave replied, “which is a Caribbean delicacy.”

To put this in perspective, Jerk chicken seasoning is £1.39 at any decent-sized Tesco’s.