What I’m thinking right now

New goal: Live in a commune

Deep down, I know this is a terrible idea. I’ve seen The Beach. Communal living brings out the worst in people, I need my personal space, etc etc.

And yet, the pull is irresistible.

I have a busy life. I have friends. I’m loved. And yet, I feel, in some profound place in me, really, really alone. Modern life just is lonely, somehow. We’re more isolated, even if we’re with people all the time. As the Manic Street Preachers put it:

“The gap that grows between our lives
The gap our parents never had”

It’s true. People used to live in villages, forrevans sake. You said hello to the guy in the grocer’s every day; you knew that, regardless of what was going on in your life, he’d always be there. How much of that do we have now? Not friendships, with their quiet little power struggles. But just a network, a tribe, that provide your sense of place. The feeling of being _part of_ something.

not to mention of stepping outside the capitalist rat race, and all the political stuff.

So, at some point, I’m going to do this. Maybe just for a few months. Probably an urban one, so there’s a chance of escape; probably something with some sort of social purpose, as an artistic one would just be too ego-filled. But details to follow. It won’t happen for a while, as it involves having no job and no flat, and right now I’m kind of committed to both.

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